Twelfth Session of August

6:57, +$106.00

I sat down for another lovely session at Nautica on Friday afternoon. Nothing really exciting happened at my table other than the fact that I had a constant trickle of action players bless me with their hyper aggressiveness throughout the evening. Let me expand on these mother fuckers if I may;

 Bug Eyed European; This guy leans forward and stares at you after he makes a bet to the point that his eyes look like they’re ready to pop out. Just recently he started wearing shades so somebody must have mentioned something to him about that tell. B.E.E. is a total LAG and you really do want him at your table because he gives unlimited retarded action.

 Kai; His name rhymes with “eye” and he is a 2-5 player but for some reason he sat at my 1-2 table for a while and he actually played pretty straight forward. I was kinda disappointed because he was sitting on my right and I had plans for this Vietnamese LAG tard but it just never happened.

EC; If you don’t know who this guy is, then you aren’t a Nautica regular. He is black, bald and a total lunatic with a big ass bankroll. He sat two to the right of me and played nothing like his hyper aggressive self. What the fuck is going on here? Is there a full moon tonight or what? I almost fell off my chair when they called his name to a 2-5 table and he said he will stay where he is. In fact, I almost asked him if he was on dope or something.

Victor; This short, skinny, Portuguese speaking donkey has diarrhea of the mouth and slows up action with his A.D.D. issues. He gets out of his seat so often that I started calling him “”Walk Around”. However, he does give action and rarely leaves with chips to cash out. This little punk kid looks to be in his late twenties but acts and talks like he is a pro wrestler the way he puffs out his chest and chatters to players at the table. He also acts like he is being recorded for a WSOP event when he “hollywoods” during a big decision and it really gets old after a while. Regardless, Victor is a player you want at your table because he makes a lot of mistakes and he will pay you off if you can wait for the right hand to play back at him.

DEB; I talked about this fucker in earlier posts and he isn’t so much of an action player as he is a chasing, call station, payoff wizard. He paid me off in the one hand we got involved in when I was dealt 1010 on the button and raised to $15.00 in a limped pot. DEB called and we saw a flop of 2-2-J. I c-bet $25.00 and he called. I immediately put him either on a deuce, a jack or a pocket pair. Nothing else, no fucking way! I knew that my hand needed to improve before I would put more chips in the middle so I checked the 4c on the turn. When a ten hit the river, I paused to make it look like I was trying to buy the pot and pushed my last $110.00 towards the middle without looking up. I KNEW he was going to call! He tabled AJ and turned red as fuck because he realized the horrible mistake he made in letting me get a free card on the turn. Thanks for playing DEB. I love your finger tattoo!

I want to mention one hand that I wasn’t even involved in but it really pissed me off about how it was played out. Two players saw a flop of A-10-4. I don’t know their names, so for the purpose of this story, I will call one player “Jerky” and the other “Duhmie”. Jerky bet $20.00 on the flop and Duhmie calls. When a jack hits the turn, Jerky bets the same $20.00 & Duhmie calls once again. Dito on the river when a four hits for a board of A-J-10-4-4. Jerky tabled Q10 and Duhmie turns over 109. Jerky then proceeds to drag the chips and was half way done stacking when somebody said it was a split pot.

 Do you know what Jerky said when he was made aware of the oversight? “The chips were pushed to me, oh well”. What a fucking asshole! After all, Duhmie DID turn his cards face up. The dealer had no idea what was going on so it was up to the table to point out the mistake. Cards play! If that was me that lost my chips to that fuck, I would have driven home, picked up my hybrid three iron, went back to the card room and then yelled “Four!!!” just before smacking Jerky across his face as hard as I could. How do you NOT admit that there was an oversight and chop the pot like most people would do? Instead, he intentionally fucked somebody over just because he is a greedy duchebag.

The really odd part of the whole thing is the fact that Duhmie didn’t contest the hand when he was told what happened. In fact, he didn’t say a damn thing in his defense AT ALL! It’s bullshit like this which makes me hate that place at times. Cheating, stealing, no good, mother fuckers.

Cumulative: 55:55, +$103.00