What a lovely hand!

So I am sitting in Rivers Casino, minding my own business when lo and behold, the generous poker dealer decides to give me AA from under the gun. I wanted to thank the gentleman right then and there but I didn’t think it would be appropriate. Instead, I put my head down and nudged three $5.00 chips into the middle of the pot. Wouldn’t you know it? The gratuitous neighbor on my left decides to contribute $30.00 to the Grayday fund. How thoughtful of him.

I was in disbelief when my friend two doors down, then proceeded to give his WHOLE savings to the Grayday fund in the amount of $180.00. “Thank you sir, you are very kind and the donation will be put to good use. God bless”

When the action came to me, I felt obligated to show my commitment to this good cause and matched all donations for another $180.00. There are some very devotional people in this world and I am blessed to come into their presence.

My first neighbor then decides to reciprocate and put’s HIS whole savings into the basket in the amount of another $160.00. “You are a gentleman and a scholar. Your good deeds will not go unnoticed”.

My philanthropic friends then tabled their cards in which I will now present in picture form from that glorious day.

“I just want to thank my ex-wife and kids I never had, for if it wasn’t for you, I would never have made it here to this glorious day. I also want to thank the publishers of “Poker for Duhmies” for your determination in teaching me hand rankings. I also want to thank the Cerveceria Modelo brewery for producing their line of Corona Extra beverages. It is your commitment to this brand that enabled me to grind through incredibly long sessions at a table without getting discouraged. Thanks again and God bless you all!”

...and then the unthinkable happened. The sky grew dark, the clouds rolled in and my arm hair stood up as I peered at the exposed community cards in front of my very eyes.

I will now present this dreadful experience with a picture from that horrific day…

“You fucking pieces of shits! You ass lucky, fuck tard losers. Fuck you too dealer you duchebag! I hate you Pittsburg feygits and you all smell like shit! Idiot, returd, dick fuks! I’m outa here! Fuck off!”