I need to find a costume.

I don’t need a costume for Halloween, you duhmies! I need one to wear in the new cardroom. You see, the second those doors fly open in the new casino, my fukin’ boss is going to be on me like a fuktard on a flush draw! I will need to come up with a kick ass disguise that will fool everyone, even better than the one Phil Laak wore at the 2008 WSOP main event. But that’s only the beginning of my problems.

There is no way in hell I’m going to be able to park my girl magnet, F-150 in the casino garage. No F’n way! That’s the first thing my boss is going to look for. Not only will I need to park offsite, I will have to keep it moving because of the GPS device that is surely to be attached. However, I got a plan. I’m going to loan my truck out to a pizza delivery boy while I play cards and have them return it at the end of their shift. My boss will think I’m working my ass off after he see’s all the stops my truck makes in a day. I just pray that the junk tard device doesn’t specify residential versus commercial addresses.

 My phone might be rigged as well. I guess pizza boy will just have to take it with him and then let me know every time my fukin’ boss calls. I just gotta remember to dial *69 when returning his call from the poker room desk or I will be up shit creek.

 Let’s see, what else? Oh ya. What about running into my deadbeat customers while I’m playing poker? I’m sure to see some of those fuckers when it rains or snows because they won’t be able to work construction on those days. When that happens, I guarantee they will give me up the next time in our store faster than a mafia rat on the FBI payroll. Fuck me.

If I can’t find a good costume, I can always hire Meats to be my lookout while I play at one of the far back tables. If he see’s my boss coming, he can give me a heads up via text so I can hide under the table until he leaves. There is only one problem with that. What are the fucking chances Meats stays at his station the whole time? As far as running into customers, Meats could be my muscle and threaten them with bodily harm if they snitch on me. I just haven’t seen Meat’s “intimidation face” as of yet so that is left up to the jury as well.

 You see, there are still a lot of fucking details to work out so I can play in the new casino during business hours. It’s not easy blowing off work.