Poker Talk for Duhmies

Do you ever find yourself in a conversation with somebody who has no idea about poker but wants to talk about it anyway in order to attempt at sounding intelligent? It usually goes something like this…

“So, Jeffery…how is the poker going?”

 “good”

 “Are you making any money?”

 “ya”

“Are we going to see you on T.V. when they show that big tournament?”

“Probably. Can you please shut the fuck up or should we change the topic and talk about your wandering eye?”

 It’s always the most retardedest conversations that never have a purpose nor a conclusion.

I love family get togethers when my relatives or one of my four sisters corner me almost immediately like an FBI agent would do.

 “Hi Jeffy, you look like your gaining weight”

“It’s the alcohol. It makes me bloated, bitches love it.”

“Oh. How is work?”

“My boss is a fucking asshole.”

“Sorry to hear about that. Are you still gambling?”

 “Pretty much every time I pick up a hooker”

 I also hang out with college buddies from time to time and they can be the biggest pricks when it comes to not understanding poker because they always want to challenge you.

“Homer, I’ll kick your ass in a game of hold’em. How much do you want to bet? Does $10.00 sound good?”

“No, it doesn’t sound good you fuck tard. I tip the server broad ten dollars every time she brings me a Corona. I spray cologne on ten dollar bills and use them as sanitary napkins when my hands are dirty. Does $300.00 sound good to you pal?”