2:26, +$723.00
Winner winner, chicken fuckin dinner!
I made all my money within thirty five minutes but stayed around another two hours to sign autographs. This fuckin game reminds me of golf. Some days I’ll play and shoot a lights out 97-99 for the round. The very next day, I’ll blow up and score a 10-11 on three holes for 115. WTF? I only got three hands to talk about because I hit, then got the fuck out before I did anything stupid.
The sixth hand dealt I look at AQ in BB and raise to $15.00. Me and my three friends see a flop of 7c7h6c and I call because I’m first to act and those fuckers will call any bet, anyways. It’s checked around and we see a Jc on the turn. At this point, I’m ready to visit the bar for a beer but my buddies checked around again! When a Jh hits the river I already knew what was going to happen. Everyone checked to the last person to act, but let me tell you about this particular fuktard first.
His name is Tony G. I don’t call him that, I call him WBD(World’s Biggest Duchebag). He is the biggest dick you will ever meet at Nautica and he has drawn out on my winning flops the last four sessions we played. Each time, he had the nerve to run his mouth while stacking chips. My only goal in life is to put him on tilt every time he is at my table and I got my chance today.
Going back to the last hand, WBD bets $40.00 on the river and I knew this idiot had nothing, but everybody checked it down and obviously showed weakness. I knew better and put him on two retard cards. I called and WBD says “I got ten high”. I responded, “I call, I wanna see your cards”. He says “why, you want to get information on me? I have been playing for forty years, you will never get information on me”. I replied, “I want everyone to see your junk. He tables 910o and mumbles smart ass comments for the next ten minutes before jumping to another table. Fuk ya! I put WBD on tilt! I peed my pants from all the excitement, then went to the bar for a beer.
4:30pm; I look at AcJc and call because I was UTG and figured the pot would get raised anyways. Sure enough, seat four makes it $12.00 and four of us see 4d6dAs on the flop. I checked because I know this guy will probably c-bet. Sure enough, he makes it $30.00 with $170.00 behind. It’s folded to me and I tanked because I’m either folding or raising. I thought for a second and raised to $70.00, hoping that he would fold his bluff or weak hand. He tanked, then pushed. Fuck, we both have an Ace! Is my kicker good or do I need help? Fuck it, I’m committed at this point and he didn’t have enough chips left anyways. He tables A10 and my hand holds up! Fuck ya bitches!
4:50; I make it $15.00 with KK and this other fuktard at my table jacks it up to $100.00! He is either related to, or good friends with James(Floor Manager) because they act like they’re fucking each other half the time. This kid also seems like he has O.C.D. because he ALWAYS sits in seat five and takes total control of the table. Scooping chips, making change, directing players, running his hole, etc. Anyways, he has a habit of overvaluing his hands and bullying players out of pots, so I knew what I had to do. I pushed for $540.00 and this idiot insta calls! Hahahahaha! He tables 1010 and I puckered up until the turn brought a lovely king. “Thanks for playing donk fuk, can I give you a couple stacks of reds for your re-buy until a volunteer can make change?”
FYI, Nautica is going to be open seven days a week starting sometime in September.
Cumulative -$677.00 22.38 hours.
Winner winner, chicken fuckin dinner!
I made all my money within thirty five minutes but stayed around another two hours to sign autographs. This fuckin game reminds me of golf. Some days I’ll play and shoot a lights out 97-99 for the round. The very next day, I’ll blow up and score a 10-11 on three holes for 115. WTF? I only got three hands to talk about because I hit, then got the fuck out before I did anything stupid.
The sixth hand dealt I look at AQ in BB and raise to $15.00. Me and my three friends see a flop of 7c7h6c and I call because I’m first to act and those fuckers will call any bet, anyways. It’s checked around and we see a Jc on the turn. At this point, I’m ready to visit the bar for a beer but my buddies checked around again! When a Jh hits the river I already knew what was going to happen. Everyone checked to the last person to act, but let me tell you about this particular fuktard first.
His name is Tony G. I don’t call him that, I call him WBD(World’s Biggest Duchebag). He is the biggest dick you will ever meet at Nautica and he has drawn out on my winning flops the last four sessions we played. Each time, he had the nerve to run his mouth while stacking chips. My only goal in life is to put him on tilt every time he is at my table and I got my chance today.
Going back to the last hand, WBD bets $40.00 on the river and I knew this idiot had nothing, but everybody checked it down and obviously showed weakness. I knew better and put him on two retard cards. I called and WBD says “I got ten high”. I responded, “I call, I wanna see your cards”. He says “why, you want to get information on me? I have been playing for forty years, you will never get information on me”. I replied, “I want everyone to see your junk. He tables 910o and mumbles smart ass comments for the next ten minutes before jumping to another table. Fuk ya! I put WBD on tilt! I peed my pants from all the excitement, then went to the bar for a beer.
4:30pm; I look at AcJc and call because I was UTG and figured the pot would get raised anyways. Sure enough, seat four makes it $12.00 and four of us see 4d6dAs on the flop. I checked because I know this guy will probably c-bet. Sure enough, he makes it $30.00 with $170.00 behind. It’s folded to me and I tanked because I’m either folding or raising. I thought for a second and raised to $70.00, hoping that he would fold his bluff or weak hand. He tanked, then pushed. Fuck, we both have an Ace! Is my kicker good or do I need help? Fuck it, I’m committed at this point and he didn’t have enough chips left anyways. He tables A10 and my hand holds up! Fuck ya bitches!
4:50; I make it $15.00 with KK and this other fuktard at my table jacks it up to $100.00! He is either related to, or good friends with James(Floor Manager) because they act like they’re fucking each other half the time. This kid also seems like he has O.C.D. because he ALWAYS sits in seat five and takes total control of the table. Scooping chips, making change, directing players, running his hole, etc. Anyways, he has a habit of overvaluing his hands and bullying players out of pots, so I knew what I had to do. I pushed for $540.00 and this idiot insta calls! Hahahahaha! He tables 1010 and I puckered up until the turn brought a lovely king. “Thanks for playing donk fuk, can I give you a couple stacks of reds for your re-buy until a volunteer can make change?”
FYI, Nautica is going to be open seven days a week starting sometime in September.
Cumulative -$677.00 22.38 hours.
Props for the hit and run :)
ReplyDeleteyou rule!
ReplyDeleteIt's lines like this that make me love you: "I made all my money within thirty five minutes but stayed around another two hours to sign autographs."
ReplyDelete