Judge Judy

Since I ain’t got no poker stories to tell ya as of late, I’ll fill you in on a little thing I do from time to time for my sick entertainment. I start off by recording Judge Judy episodes and then watch them with my laptop open to my Facebook page.  

Before I begin, I must tell you the reason why I waste my time watching this geigh ass show in the first place. Because it attracts the most retarded, dumbest, idiotic people on the planet who actually think they have a lawsuit and/or defense. You combine that with a judge who actually tells you how retarded, dumb and idiotic you are in front of 4 million viewers. There is no acting and very little prepping, so what you see is what you get. I love watching human nature at it dumbest and that is why I watch reality television such as this. 

If you haven’t watched an episode of Judge Judy before, you must know that there are two, fifteen minute court cases during which the plaintiffs, defendants and witnesses names are all spelled out on the screen at some point in time. Also, the judge will usually ask where they work, go to school and live in order for her to get a better understanding of the court case at hand.  

Once I have all this information, I proceed to locate each and every person on the show by searching their name on Facebook. Usually I will find multiple listings but am able to narrow down my search by matching a person’s residing city or current university. Also, I usually have more luck with younger people versus retired couples as well as people that have unique spellings to their name.

Now the fun part.  

I decide in my mind who had a compelling case and who was a fucking idiot and then proceed to send off scathing emails via Facebook. Those people don’t know what hit them when they receive my emails. I open most of my messages by telling them that they are guilty, fucking retarded, and owe the money without ever mentioning anything about the show or me. They respond with things like, “who the fuck is this?”, “do I fucking know you?”, “excuse me?” I will usually lie my ass off and say that I am friends with one of the people from the court case and will include specific information to make my story believable such as naming the town or school that was revealed on the show. I just keep it going and tell them to pay their bill or fix their friend’s car, whatever the case may be. It is funny as fuck as you can see by a couple of the following email exchanges.

This first case involves a guy who gets sued for damaging someone’s property while shooting BB guns with his kid.

Email entitled; r u kidding me?

“Your forty years old and shooting bb guns with little kids? You need to get some friends. That is pretty sad. Grow up.”

He responds with the following...

“its not sad to include some of thje neighborhood kids in a game that i was also playing with my kids.That called family bonding.Since the kids have no father in their live.So when you dont no what the fuk you are talking about,i suggest u have no comment on this issue.You are probably single amd living alone,or worse with your parents.And as far as me growing up,lets see i own my own buisness,own my own hous,have 3 vehicles 2006,2007,2007 all paid off.So for you just ....shhhhss...idiots i tell you what.probably a big loser too..”

The next one involves a kid who sued his friend for damaging his car while driving without insurance. I sent off an email entitled “r u an idiot” to the defendant...

“you and Austin are duhmies. You guys are blaming somebody for damaging Austins car with having no evidence? you both were drunk on mikes hard lemonade. quit lying because you aren't good at it. where did you get your fake ids idiots?”

He responds with the following...

“why dont you shut the fuck up. if your stupid ass would of listened to the show you would of listened to them say for one we were NOT invited... ok thats fair.. but then later in the case says austin was in charge for supplying the alcohol and there was an organized list. so if we werent invited why would there be a list. now you tell me who the fuck is lieing you stupid piece of shit. judge judy isnt even real its a mock up of a court case that before you go on the producers tell you... "lie, make it interesting" now why dont you go get a fucking life rather then search random peoples names that you saw on the TV... idk but i would say you like to search 18 year old boys up on the internet all day. by any chance are you not aloud near a school? fucking weirdo”

I also emailed one of the defendants witnesses with a message entitled “Really?” to Kayla Geimer…

“you saw Austin and Corey bring beer to the party and you did not drink any? liar.”

She responded,

“I never said I didn't drink?.. And no.. They provided the alcohol.. And Austin does drink I use to be friends with him”

Here’s another one along with the response...

Email entitled; Really?

“you got engaged to Ryan after only 20 days??? You need to get your head examined. You live off of two men and a settlement? I am earning a living the hard way. I am working my ass off. I can't believe you let a stranger move in with you and your kids. there is something wrong with you. grow up”

“Listen buddy idk who the hell u think u r but news flash y don't u try to get a life that's exciting enough that u don't have to worry about what goes on in the lives of others!! I'm sry that u have nothin goin for yourself but its a shame and it happens! Good luck to ya”

This one is about a relationship gone bad...

Email entitled; I hope you learned

“How do you get hooked up with a con artist like Brendon? That guy is bad news. He probably moved back to PA because people are after him. You should have had your uncle break his knee caps. He is a horrible lier.”

“Sure did.., how do you know him? I imagine he owes you money too? someone from PA, emailed me saying he is garbage and he owes the whole city of pittsburg money.., I unfortunately met him from a dating site. Yes, a bit naive... He is definitely a great actor!! He is such a loser. Glad Judge judy made a complete fool of him on national tv.”

This kid stole a moped...

Email entitled; you have a guilty face

“look up if you're going to lie duhmie. You stole the moped, we all know it. Pay Robert his money out of your weed funds and your moms beer money. Moron.”

“(1/2) Hell yea i took it but judge judy paid me to say that i didnt take it so they would have a good show and since i said i didnt take it they paid for him to

(2/2) get a new one” 

This broad got sued for an unpaid loan...

Email entitled; Quit lying

“Erin loaned you the money duhmie, it was not a gift. Rocky is working now so it shouldn't be a problem. Own up to your responsibilities and quit screwing your friends over. You should be ashamed of yourself. I hope you lose clients at your junkass salon for what you did.”

“She got paid. Leave me the fuck alone. I don't even know who u are.”

I really liked the following loser case...

Email entitled; are you serious?

 “You are half retarded. I cannot believe that Katherine dated you. You're not going to college duhmie. You're going to spend your life in prison. You wave at people driving by, in front of tax return business while in a costume??? lol.”

“lol u got jokes hmm whosay she still dont dude leave me alone”

I think it’s funny as shit that these people engage in someone who is being an ass to them and then proceed to defend themselves even after the case is over. Hahahahaha. It is scary however at how easy it is to find a person on these social sites along with very personal information about their families and kids.